we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
