I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
