so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
