Me too!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
When are your genitals available?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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