apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
