I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
