Kiss
Puke
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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