You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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