My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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