I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
