Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i need some magic done to my vagina
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
