Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
