I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
