they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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