My friends, they love my intelligence
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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