when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i was born a porn star she said
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
