We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Can you repeat that, but with context?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
