Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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