If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
