watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So vagazzling was a success
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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