you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
