she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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