I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
