Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I love having hate sex.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
