Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
