i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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