I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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