I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The Olympian is in my bed
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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