I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
