How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
