If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
