Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
