No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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