How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
