So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
