dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
