Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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