So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
