I wannas sexs uuuuu
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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