So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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