scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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