Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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