hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
