just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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