we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
