dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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