You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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