Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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