just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
wow bdsm is so cute
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