I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
