My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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