dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
