i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
