AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You are the jesus of drinking
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
