What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
